


A Little Bit of Comfort

by Talvenhenki



Category: Star Trek: Picard
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mentioned Character Death, Mentions of suicide in chapter 2, Past Abandonment, Tag to 1x08 "Broken Pieces", lots of hugs and kisses in chapter two'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23205442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talvenhenki/pseuds/Talvenhenki
Summary: Two scenes I felt like we needed in 1x08. Chapter two should be up on Friday at latest.
Relationships: Agnes Jurati & Cristóbal Rios, Agnes Jurati & Raffi Musiker, Agnes Jurati/Cristóbal Rios, Raffi Musiker & Cristóbal Rios
Comments: 19
Kudos: 43





	1. Cristóbal

**Author's Note:**

> Cris really needed a hug, in my opinion.

Cristóbal leaned back against his bed and chuckled dryly. It had been Starfleet. It was always Starfleet; they were the ones that had taken everything from him. He was staring at the ceiling, feeling only emptiness in his chest. There was a disbelieving smile on his face, and he breathed shakily as he tried to understand what he’d just heard. Raffi was holding his hand, and it was about the only thing that was grounding him in the moment and stopping the past from swallowing him.

His shaky breaths were now quick, too quick, and his heart was hammering against his ribcage. The world seemed distant and his own body felt…off. He was gripping Raffi’s hand, trying to remind himself of where he was.

“Chris, honey”, Raffi whispered, placing her free hand against Cristóbal’s chest, “take deep breaths, babe. Deep breaths. I’m right here, right next to you. Can you talk to me about something?”

Cristóbal forced himself to take a deep breath, and then another. He blinked his eyes, turning to look at Raffi, and cleared his throat.

“Did I ever tell you about my father?”

“I thought he was dead”, Raffi said, tilting her head. “Tell me about him?”

Cristóbal nodded. “The thing is, I haven’t seen him in decades. He left me and my mother when I was very young; I have only one memory of him.” Cristóbal’s expression softened at the memory. “He took me and my mother sailing once. We were on his ship _Den lille havfrue_ – it’s Danish for The Little Mermaid – and we sailed along the coast of Chile.”

“So, you’ve had this mermaid thing going on for a while?” Raffi asked, smiling fondly.

Cristóbal looked up at Raffi and returned the smile. He looked so weary, so exhausted, that Raffi wondered exactly for how long he’d kept everything bottled inside.

“Oh yes”, Cristóbal whispered. “It’s a family thing. My father is somehow related to H. C. Andersen – you know, the guy who _wrote_ The Little Mermaid – and it showed. He had the books and I think he even taught me Danish. I’ve lost it all, though. I just don’t remember anything except our sailing trip. He left before we ever could form a relationship. Just one day, he packed up one suitcase and never returned.”

“Oh, Chris”, Raffi breathed, pulling Cristóbal into a hug. She kissed his temple and tangled her fingers in his hair for a bit before letting him go.

“I found out he left because he got a job at Starfleet”, Cristóbal said. “He left us, left _Den lilla havfrue_ , and travelled to Starfleet headquarters and was stationed on a starship. My mother raised me after that and sold the boat. I took her last name and started studying to get to join Starfleet. I wanted to be acknowledged, I wanted my father to _see_ me. I wanted to be noticed and I wanted him to come back home. I wanted it so much, to be a family again. To have a father.”

Raffi was holding Cristóbal’s hand between hers, holding his knuckles against her cheek. He turned to look at her once again, his jaw trembling and his eyes haunted with grief and anger.

“He never answered my calls or any of the messages I left”, he said. “I don’t think he ever even opened them, Raf. He just discarded me – his _son_ – like a piece of scrap metal!”

“I’m so sorry, babe”, she whispered. She was holding her tears and feeling like her heart was breaking for her best friend. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all of it. I wish I had been there for you; I wish I had known you back then.”

Raffi did not just feel sorry for Cristóbal, she also felt terrible because what he had gone through was so similar to what she’d put her husband and son through. She hoped she’d be able to set some of it right by helping Cristóbal.

“He didn’t even bother to check on me when mother died”, Cristóbal whispered, his voice hollow. “And when pops – _Vandermeer_ – died, there was nothing. He probably didn’t even remember having a son. At least I wish that’s how it is, that he just forgot about me. Because I don’t want to think that he just chose to look the other way when he knew I was suffering.”

Raffi could see the tears in Cristóbal’s eyes, the pain he was in. He was shaking, as if he was only moments away from shattering completely.

“I got a message just an hour or so before Picard beamed up with the girl”, Cristóbal said suddenly. “I…I think it’s better to just show you. I don’t have the words to explain.” He swallowed and took a deep breath. “Computer, play the message from Einar Andersen.”

A screen appeared in front of them, displaying an image of an old man. He bore such a striking resemblance to Cristóbal that Raffi wondered how she hadn’t realised it. She’d met the man a few times and noticed the jaw that was exactly same as Rios’. And the eyes, he had the same laugh lines at the corners. How could Raffi have missed it?

 _“I don’t know how to begin this message”_ , the man said, looking forward. _“I know I should have sent it years ago. Hello, son. I just spent the past two hours listening to the messages you sent to me when you were still at the academy. Without them, I might not have been able to track you down. I see you took Soledad’s last name while I was away. You look so much like her; I hope you know that.”_

The man looked down for a moment and swallowed. He was clearly having a hard time finding the words.

_“First of all, I want to apologise. I’m sending this message because I want you to know how terribly sorry I am. I was a coward when I left you and Soledad; it took me all these years to understand it. I had a new family and I still couldn’t face what I’d done to you. I couldn’t even listen to the messages my dear son had sent me because I couldn’t face my own cowardice.”_

Raffi looked at Cristóbal, only to see the tears streaming down his face. She took his hand in hers, trying to offer comfort.

_“I wish to know you, my son. I want to try and get back some of the time I lost with you. I want to apologise for leaving you and your mother and I want to offer you a family you can return to. And, if you’re ready, I’d like to introduce you to your half-siblings. You’ve got two sisters and a brother. I’ve told them about you, and they’d love to get to know you. Please, call me, or send me a message. I’d love to hear about you.”_

The video ended and Cristóbal’s shoulders sagged. He was holding his left hand over his mouth to keep whatever sound he might make inside. Raffi hugged him, pulling him as close as she could to comfort him.

“Hey, Chris, it’s alright”, Raffi said softly. “You’re allowed to cry. It’s okay, babe. Darling. I’ve got you and I’m not letting go until I know you’re better.”

Cristóbal pressed his face against Raffi’s shoulder and let out a sob. He was trembling and sobbing, and Raffi ran her hand through his hair, massaging his scalp. It felt like an eternity, filled with soft, broken sobs and gentle shushing. Eventually the sounds died down, replaced by Cristóbal’s exhausted breaths.

“There”, Raffi breathed, “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, babe.”

Cristóbal nodded, having closed his eyes. He was leaning more or less his whole weight on Raffi, not having the strength to support himself.

“I’m sorry you had to see that”, he muttered, wiping his eyes. “Not my finest moment.”

“That’s what friends are for, babe.”

Cristóbal chuckled again but then his expression turned more serious. “I want to send him a message. I have to make him understand that I’ll only meet him on my own terms. Not on his.”

“Do you want me to stay here with you?”

He nodded and turned on his messaging device. “A video message to Einar Andersen, Denmark, Earth.” He cleared his throat. “ _Hej_. It’s me, Cristóbal. Your son.” He swallowed, blinking a few times. “You asked me if I wanted to meet you. Yes, I want to. But not before I come to terms with what you did to me. I _needed_ you. I will call you when I want to meet you properly. But before that you’ll have to wait until I do it. Maybe that will make you realise what you actually did to me. End message. Send.”

Cristóbal sighed and ran his hands over his face. He then turned to look at Raffi, smiling gratefully at her.

“Let’s go figure out this mess, shall we?”


	2. Agnes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part two! In which Agnes gets the hugs and kisses she needs.
> 
> Warnings for discussion of suicide! If it makes you uncomfortable, proceed with caution.

When Soji and Picard had left the bridge, Cristóbal gave Raffi a pointed look. She sighed and nodded toward the mess hall, signalling, that Agnes was still there, sitting all alone. Whatever Picard and Soji had said to her had probably not been very comforting, considering how close to tears she’d seemed. He got up from the captain’s chair and looked down at the mess hall where Agnes was still sitting, staring at the iron table. She looked very small like that.

“Enoch!” Cristóbal called, just quiet enough that Agnes couldn’t hear it from whatever thoughts plaguing her mind. The cheerful hologram activated near the pilot’s chair, smiling. “Take care of the ship. I should be back in a few hours.”

Cristóbal and Raffi made their way downstairs, to Agnes. They sat down at the table, at both sides so they could be equally close to Agnes and looked at her. Her gaze was empty, and she looked truly defeated. It was like there was no life in her eyes anymore. Like she’d lost all of her enthusiasm.

“Agnes”, Cristóbal said softly. “ _Querida_. We’d like to have a talk with you. Let’s go somewhere more private.”

Agnes looked up, her eyes darting between Raffi and Cristóbal. She looked afraid, almost panicked and she was breathing quicker than Cristóbal liked. She was shaking her head, looking like a cornered deer.

“Hey”, Raffi whispered, grabbing Agnes’ hand, “Agnes. Sweetie. We’re not mad at you. Okay, I might be still a little mad, but Chris isn’t because he’s too nice for his own good. We just want to understand everything that’s happened. To you, to us. We won’t blame you; I promise.”

Agnes still looked terrified, but not terrified enough to run away or try something stupid. Cristóbal helped her up and began leading her away. They held hands, mostly in order to make sure that Agnes was still following. Raffi was walking behind them as they made their way to Cristóbal’s quarters. When they finally arrived, Cristóbal kicked off his shoes and sat down on the floor at the foot of his bed.

“Sit down, Agnes”, he said, offering Agnes what he hoped was a kind smile. “Really. I won’t bite. I just have a feeling that Picard left out quite a lot when we talked, since he didn’t say anything to you turning yourself in. I want to know what’s going on and I’ve got a feeling he won’t tell me. So, please tell me, Agnes.”

Raffi guided Agnes to sit down in front of Cristóbal before sitting down herself. For a few moments, no one said a thing. They would just stare at each other, waiting.

“Commodore Oh”, Agnes whispered. “She…I don’t know how, but she showed me these… _images_. She put her fingers against my face and…she poured in these memories.” Agnes swallowed, pressing her hands against each other. “There was pain, so much pain!”

“Oh, Agnes, honey”, Raffi breathed. She leaned forward and placed her hand over Agnes’ trembling fists. “It must have been terrifying.”

“It was”, Agnes said. Her eyes were full of tears, but she wouldn’t lower them. She stared at Cristóbal and Raffi almost defiantly. “She put a block on the memories so I couldn’t talk about them without causing terrible pain on myself. Trust me, I tried. I almost choked myself.”

Cristóbal moved closer, placing his hand on Agnes’ shoulder. She looked at him and the tears began to fall. He brushed some of them away with his free hand and pressed a kiss on her forehead.

“She made it seem like it was all my fault”, Agnes continued, her voice shaking. “She gave me the tracker, made me swallow it. She told me that destroying them all was the only way to save the human race, to not die a painful death. That would be better than having to see those memories every time I close my eyes.”

Cristóbal’s heart missed a beat. Was she…had she truly wanted to _kill_ herself when she injected herself with the poison? Was he going to lose her like he had lost Vandermeer? He pulled her against his chest, into a half-hug as he tried to process what he had just heard.

“Agnes, sweetie”, Raffi sighed, “it would be terrible to lose you. We don’t blame you. You might just have saved Soji’s siblings by destroying that tracker. We’re not expecting you to turn yourself in; in fact, I was thinking of becoming Chris’s business partner and inviting you to join us after all of this is over. We’d make a great crew, don’t you think?”

“The best”, Cristóbal agreed. He was still holding Agnes and pointedly looking away from Raffi, to not show her his shock at the thought of losing Agnes. He loved the little doctor and his heart ached for her pain.

Agnes’ face scrunched up. She struggled to free herself from Cristóbal’s embrace and pushed him away. She was sobbing breathlessly and gripping her overalls by the chest. Her sobbing turned soon into weeping and Raffi couldn’t not hold her. She scooped Agnes into a bear hug and began rubbing her back, trying to give her the comfort she so desperately needed.

“Agnes, sweetheart”, she whispered, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry we tried to make you spill the beans. I’m so sorry I lied to you. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of this alone. We’ve got you now; you’re safe here with us. We don’t blame you.”

“But I killed Bruce!” Agnes wailed. “I betrayed you, hurt you! Just hate me already! Please, just hate me…”

Cristóbal joined the hug, kissing Agnes’ temple. “Agnes, _querida_ , I forgive you. Darling. Sweetheart, I could never, ever in my life hate you. I love you, you pig-headed little doctor. I don’t want you to leave. If you feel like hurting yourself, please, come to me. I’ll find a way to distract you from the pain, okay?”

Agnes pulled away once again, looking shocked. She first looked at Cristóbal, then at Raffi, and then at Cristóbal again. She shook her head and began wiping her eyes furiously, he whole frame trembling.

“You…you’d really let me join your crew?” she asked. Cristóbal laughed, his own eyes having grown rather misty, and scooped Agnes onto his lap, kissing her cheek and holding her close against his chest. Agnes was still sniffling but made no attempt to escape.

“I’d love to have you in my crew”, he said, “both of you. We could fly around the space, have adventures and find new friends. Oh, Emmett would be thrilled to find someone else to sleep on. But first we need to fix you. And there’s someone on Earth I want to meet. But when you’re all better, we’ll have the greatest adventures and maybe we’ll find a new home to live in. What do you think?”

Raffi smiled fondly at the other two and hugged them. They would make a fine club; they were all broken in some way, but they could at least have each other’s backs while times were tough.

“I’d love to be a part of that crew”, she said. “And Agnes? I forgive you.”

“See?” Cristóbal asked, smiling at Agnes. He kissed her temple. And then her forehead. He began to shower her with little kisses until she couldn’t help but to giggle and hug him with one arm while she grabbed Raffi’s hand with her other one.

They would be fine, eventually. At that moment, only the forgiveness mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment! I want to know what you think about my writing!


End file.
